


never back down

by Lion_Blossom



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Azure Moon Route, Canon Compliant, F/M, Female My Unit | Byleth, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Spoilers, Hopeful Ending, Mentioned Blue Lions Students (Fire Emblem), Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21625489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lion_Blossom/pseuds/Lion_Blossom
Summary: “The Dimitri you once knew is dead. All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you.”Not if Byleth has anything to say about it.(Just a little exploration of Byleth’s POV and adding on to the “War Council: Guardian Moon” scene in the Azure Moon routeRated T just to be on the safe side with some of the dialogue used from the game)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & My Unit | Byleth, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 1
Kudos: 72





	never back down

**Author's Note:**

> I really enjoy Dimitri and Byleth's arc in the Blue Lions route (both individually and together, platonically and romantically), and so I wanted to explore that from the earlier parts of the Azure Moon route. I got this idea when watching the "War Council: Guardian Moon" cutscene. I totally understand that cutscenes can't go on forever, especially since dialogue options with Byleth are somewhat limited. But I felt like that scene could have gone a bit longer, so I wanted to expand on it. 
> 
> It got longer than I expected, but it was a lot of fun to write since I love these two (and all the other Blue Lions bc the Azure Moon route is so good).
> 
> *A few quotes from the game cutscenes “Monsters” and “War Council: Guardian Moon” are used, so of course credit for those goes to the game’s writers.

_“The Dimitri you once knew is dead. All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you. If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me. If you insist that you cannot… then I will continue to use you and your friends until the flesh falls from your bones.”_

Dimitri’s words had echoed in Byleth's mind all through the night, and even now, during that morning’s council meeting, they did not leave her. Though she needed to focus on the meeting, she could not stop herself from replaying them, or from picturing the look on his face as he said them, no matter how much it felt like a hammer was driving a nail deeper into her heart, the weight in her chest growing heavier with every repetition. 

Dimitri… His words had not always been vicious and uncaring. Five years ago, they were more warm and thoughtful. _He_ was warm and thoughtful. A steadfast ally and a true friend. 

Byleth was not unaware of the darkness that lurked underneath even back then, however. It was true that there were times where his words and actions had been harsh -- but he had always directed that side of him at his enemies, at heartless villains like Solon who hurt the innocent. Not directed at the people who supported him through each battle. Not at his friends. 

Not at her.

And yet, perhaps that was still consistent in his mind. He hadn't called the others -- or her -- _his_ friends now. 

Everyone was an enemy in his eyes. The darkness he carried had finally worn him down so much that they were almost as unrecognizable to him as he was to them.

Almost.

The Dimitri she knew was still there. He was masked by the hatred and anger and guilt that clung to him, but he wasn't gone. She refused to believe otherwise. 

With all this clouding her thoughts, it was difficult to focus on the main topic of this meeting: their battle from the previous day. It was usually helpful for everyone to analyze what had happened, how they had successfully defended the monastery against the empire and how they could use that information to improve their strategies going forward. 

Byleth only heard parts of it here and there, until Gilbert asked what their next plan of attack would be. They could not defend the monastery forever, she knew. They needed more troops, more resources, more time…

She glanced at Dimitri.

They needed a leader.

They expected her to lead as she had done five years ago when she was their professor. And certainly, she could -- in battles. She could outline troop positions and movements, lead a charge with them on the frontlines, and guide them to victory. But they needed more than that if they were going to take down the Adrestian Empire. 

She was already uncomfortable with her position as interim archbishop. It was a position she did not feel she deserved but accepted only because Lady Rhea had adamantly insisted on it, even before the war began. Seteth, in Byleth’s opinion, would have been better suited for the role, but he refused to go against Lady Rhea’s wishes.

Gilbert, in some ways, could be the one to take up the mantle as her co-leader instead. But, ever the loyal knight, he had made it clear that he wanted Dimitri, as the crown prince, to accept that role. And even though it was obvious Dimitri was in no state to lead anyone, Byleth could not fault Gilbert for wanting him to -- because she did as well.

Because even as a strategist and temporary archbishop, she could not do everything. She was neither a diplomat nor an orator, nor did she consider herself alone capable of rallying all of the people outside of the monastery.

For that, they needed a king. 

A king who would be the face of the opposition to the Empire. 

A king under whose rule the people of Fódlan could unite. 

A king who wasn't consumed by darkness…

She mentally shook herself out of her thoughts. She needed to stop letting herself get sidetracked, no matter how much she wanted to bring back the Dimitri she knew. Right now, in this meeting, it didn't help.

She tuned in to hear Annette mention Rodrigue as a source for backup. Distracted as she was, it took Byleth a few seconds to remember she’d met him briefly five years ago. He was Felix’s father, though the two had not been on good terms then. They still weren’t, as far as she could tell. He had seemed like a kind enough person to her though. Not to mention exceptionally loyal to his king. To Dimitri.

Felix voiced the same thoughts that rose in her mind. What would Rodrigue say when he saw the state Dimitri was in? 

Perhaps, Byleth mused, _he_ would be able to help Dimitri. Rodrigue had been friends with Dimitri’s father, and she recalled Dimitri telling her five years ago that he thought of Rodrigue as a second father. So perhaps he would know the right things to say. Perhaps he would be able to assist Dimitri in finding himself again. Perhaps…

Byleth was brought out of her thoughts again when Gilbert directly asked Dimitri about the focus of their next plan of attack. Should their attention be on the Kingdom’s capital or the Imperial capital?

Byleth frowned, knowing exactly which one Dimitri would choose. 

“We will take the Imperial capital. There, I will kill her. We end the war and chase away the lingering regrets of the dead. Nothing could be more to the point.”

Of course he wanted to rush straight to the Empire’s capital. Surely it was no surprise to anyone. 

Byleth was relieved to hear both Annette and Ingrid voice their concerns for Fhirdiad. Sylvain did as well. She was, however, surprised to hear both Ashe and Mercedes recommend going to Enbarr. But she could not entirely fault their reasoning. Defeating Edelgard would indeed end the war, and they did need to help Lady Rhea. 

And they would. But was now the right time? Would they -- _could_ they -- succeed when they barely had enough resources to keep defending the monastery? Did they have anything close to the numbers it would take to defeat an army the size and strength of the Empire's? An army that Edelgard had spent five years strengthening? 

No. 

They had faced tough, seemingly impossible battles before, and they had won -- but this was war. Every risk, every mistake, every consequence was even more dangerous than before. It wasn't just their own survival hanging in the balance -- it was the very fate of Fódlan itself. This war was going to determine its future. They had to weigh every option, every strategy, with the utmost consideration. 

So the idea of taking on the Empire without the full support of the Kingdom and the Alliance to back them up?

Byleth didn’t like those odds.

When Seteth inquired her thoughts, even going so far as to say they would follow _her_ lead, she frowned. She appreciated the sentiment but doubted that would be the case. A certain someone refused to follow anything she recommended nowadays.

Regardless, she looked around the table at all of them, keeping her expression neutral. “Fhirdiad. We should focus on taking that capital back first."

Dimitri was quick to respond, his face as impassive as ever. “You were entrusted with leading the church," he said calmly, though his tone also held a hint of anger as he continued. "One would think the logical step is to march to Enbarr. If Lady Rhea is being held prisoner in the Empire, we don’t have time to waste taking back Fhirdiad. Can you deny it?”

His response, actually, surprised her. It wasn’t the route she had expected him to take, and it made her hesitate for a second. But only a second. 

She really didn't appreciate that he was using her unwanted position in the church against her.

“As the leader of the church,” she replied firmly, looking directly at him now, “my duty is to the people of Fódlan, not to Lady Rhea alone. I agree saving her is important.” She glanced at Mercedes and Seteth briefly as she said that. “But if we take back Fhirdiad first, we will save the people of Faerghus, we will gain more troops and resources, and _then_ we will have a better chance of actually saving Lady Rhea and defeating Edelgard when we march to Enbarr."

“Or we waste our time and squander the resources we do have in trying to take it back." His expression was less impassive now, his narrowed eye and wrinkled brow betraying his irritation. "Then we will be unable to march on Enbarr at all."

She crossed her arms. “What’s the difference between wasting our resources at Fhirdiad and wasting them trying to get to Enbarr?”

“Going to Fhirdiad will not appease the dead. Every day that woman lives is another day the dead suffer without the justice they seek. The sooner I kill her-"

"And how long must your people go without justice, Dimitri? How much longer must _they_ suffer?"

Silence hung in the air between them as she held his gaze. She refused to look away or even blink, the moment feeling like it stretched into an eternity. 

"I am going to Enbarr," he finally snapped. "With or without you. That is final."

Byleth set her jaw, biting her tongue to stop herself from saying something she'd regret. Arguing like this in front of everyone wasn't the way she wanted to handle this. She needed to change tactics.

"Fine." Arms crossed, she turned her attention to the rest of the group again, whose expressions ranged from vaguely irritated to visibly uncomfortable. "We will set our sights on taking down the Imperial capital next."

Gilbert looked relieved to see they had come to a general, albeit uneasy, consensus, though his eyes were still wary. He added that they would discuss where they would meet up with Rodrigue once they received news from him, then he dismissed them.

Everyone was getting up to leave, but before Dimitri could take a step toward the door, Byleth spoke, keeping her voice flat but calm. "Dimitri. A word."

Everyone froze, glancing between her and Dimitri, who had also stopped in place, his back to her.

"In private," she added, eyeing them all.

She made brief eye contact with each of them as they filed out. She held eye contact longest with Gilbert, but fortunately he was wise enough to not to say anything to her. He left just as quietly as everyone else, closing the door behind him.

"You won't change my mind, Professor," Dimitri said immediately. "I am going to Enbarr."

"I'm aware," she replied coolly. "That's not why I asked to speak privately. I wanted to give you a warning."

That seemed to surprise him, because there was a brief silence before he finally turned to face her. His expression was wary yet curious. "A warning?"

"Yes." She stood up and took a step closer to him. Looking him directly in the eye, she hardened her expression and her tone. "You may no longer care about your own life, but if you are reckless with the lives of _any_ of the others here, you _will_ regret it."

One eyebrow rose almost imperceptibly. "Is that a threat, Professor?"

"Not in the way you think. You will regret the things you've done all on your own."

A bitter laugh escaped him. "A beast has no use for regret."

"I know you, Dimitri. You’re no beast."

"You've been gone a long time, Professor. You don't know me any longer."

"I _know_ the Dimitri I knew is still in you,” she continued firmly. “I know that once you've escaped this darkness you'll find many things you regret." She took a couple steps toward him, closing the distance between them ever so slightly. "You once told me you couldn't trust someone who killed without remorse, so I know-"

"That Dimitri is _dead!_ " 

He stormed over, closing the distance between them in just a couple of strides. "He’s been dead and gone for years. How many times do I have to remind you? _This_ is all that remains." His face was now inches from hers, fury radiating off him like waves. It was very clear to her now how much he had grown in the last five years as he towered over her. But still she would not back down, forcing her feet to remain planted, refusing to budge even an inch. "A beast, a monster, that is all that stands before you. _Kill me_ if you don't like what I have become.”

Byleth's hands were clenched at her sides now, trembling slightly -- not from fear, but with a fury of her own. She was furious with him and how he had given in to the darkness he had feared five years ago. 

Furious with a world that had created that darkness and then encouraged his descent, a world full of violence and injustice and hatred. 

Furious with herself most of all for abandoning everyone, especially Dimitri, in their time of need. If only she had been faster in that battle, if only she had been stronger than those monsters attacking, she wouldn't have been gone for so long. If only she had been more perceptive, if only she had been able to see through Edelgard’s schemes, she might have stopped the war before it even started. If only…

But she couldn't turn back time that far. She couldn't undo any of this. She couldn't erase the choices that others had made.

But she could help set things right. She could be there for them now.

"No." Her voice was firm as she kept eye contact with him, still refusing to move. "I will not kill you, Dimitri."

Dimitri finally backed up a step, their faces no longer so close. "Then stay _out_ of my way, Professor, or _I_ will be the one to strike you down." 

"I won't make it that easy for you."

He simply turned away, heading for the door.

But she refused to let their meeting end like this.

"Stop." She grabbed his arm. "Dimi-"

The scrape of a sword from its sheath cut her off. Instinct alone made her draw her dagger -- and she pulled it up just in time to meet his sword, a loud _CLANG_ of metal striking metal echoing through the room.

That sound rang in her ears for what felt like forever, a chill running down her spine. Her eyes focused first on the gleam of their weapons locked against each other and then focused on his face, locking on the eye of a cornered animal, wild with anger.

The slam of a door banging against the stone walls broke the sudden stillness.

"Professor!" 

"Your Highness!"

She glanced over and saw the others standing there, quickly noting the hands either on their own swords or glowing with magical energy.

She should have known they might be eavesdropping. 

But, in this instance, she was grateful they had been. This meeting hadn't gone at all like she had hoped. Her frustration and her temper had gotten the best of her - and his had as well. She knew talking to him wouldn't be easy, but this… This was going to be even more difficult than she had expected.

"It's fine, everyone." Though the anger and adrenaline were still coursing through her veins, she forced herself to keep her voice calm as she nudged his sword away and took a step back, sheathing her dagger, relieved to see that Dimitri did so as well. "We were having a discussion, that's all."

"Looked like more than just a discussion," Felix scoffed, eyes narrowed, glaring at Dimitri.

"Are both of you all right?" Mercedes asked, looking worriedly between them.

" _His Highness_ and I are fine." Even she noticed the hint of anger that had slipped into her tone, and she glanced at Dimitri, catching the slight surprise -- and a flicker of something else? -- on his face at her use of his title as opposed to his name. 

His expression quickly hardened again. He stormed towards the door without another word, Ashe quickly stepping aside to avoid being run into.

"Please excuse me as well." She didn't want to answer any questions right now. She just… She wanted to be alone. That fire was still burning inside of her, and she wanted to either cry or stab something. Maybe both. She needed somewhere private to deal with everything that had just happened, everything that she was feeling. To rethink her strategy. "I'm sorry to have worried you."

She could tell they were all itching to question her, but she moved quickly toward the door, and, fortunately, they let her go.

On her way to her room, she found herself not actually focusing on the words Dimitri had said or his anger that was always simmering just below the surface.

No, it was that last expression of his that remained in the forefront of her mind. 

Five years ago, he had told her he didn't want to be referred to by his titles while attending the Officers’ Academy. He wanted to be treated like any other student, like an equal. Though some of the students had still used them regardless, she had always abided by his wishes. He was simply Dimitri to her first, and a prince second.

And if some part of him still felt that, if he could still be surprised -- and, dare she even imagine, hurt? -- by her not using his name like she always did... then it meant the Dimitri she knew was still in there somewhere. 

She could not drag him out of the darkness herself, she knew. He would have to choose it himself -- and he _could_. 

Dimitri could find the light again. He wasn't too far gone.

So Byleth wasn't going to give up on him.


End file.
